Wednesday, June 27, 2007

An American Hero: Robbed!

* This blog entry has been updated here

Like many of you last year I spent the 4th of July in front of the television anxiously awaiting the coming out party of a new American Hero. For six long years we had suffered embarrassing defeat at our own game at the hands of a foreign nation on our Independence Day! But no longer would we despair! 2006 would be the year that we would retain our crown as the greatest nation on the planet! The Mustard Belt was finally coming home to America!

For years Takeru Kobayashi had dominated Nathan's Hotdog Eating Contest. Despite the obesity epidemic sweeping the nation we were hopeless in the face of the jaws of Kobayashi. He sprang onto the scene in 2001, decimating the former record of 25 1/2 hot dogs by chowing down 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Kobayashi spent the next half-decade laying waste to the competition, destroying men twice his size in all manners of eating contests. He became more superhero than man:

He claimed five mustard belts in a row and the thought of someone taking him down seemed ludicrous.
Until the man they call Jaws emerged from San Jose, California. Joey Chestnut pounded over 30 some dogs in the 2005 contest, coming out of nowhere to finish 3rd. He did nothing but improve the next year, winning several contests and being named Rookie of the Year by the Competitive Eating Association. As the 4th of July approached, one began to sense a change in the winds. Could this be the year that the Mustard Belt returned home? Could Joey take down the legendary and immortal Kobayashi? Was this the birth of a new American Hero?


Finally the big day arrived. I remember firing up the grill to have a few hot dogs to watch the show. As noon approached I became more and more anxious. Finally, it was here! Joey entered to cheers from the crowd and the man from Tokyo was placed right beside him. The gun went off and as the competitors began to chow down the crowd began to chant USA USA! Today would be our day! After 10 minutes of exhilarating mano-a-mano combat, Joey was beating the Paul Bunyan of Competitive eating. Unfortunately, the contest lasted 12 minutes. With the resolution of a champion, Kobayashi stormed back and overtook Joey, setting a new World Record in the process with 53 ¾ hot dogs consumed and claiming his sixth Mustard Belt. Joey finished close behind with 52 hot dogs but a clear message had been sent. Kobayashi was no longer invincible.
All these signs pointed to an epic battle in 2007. Joey had continued to impress at various eating competitions around the world. He set the new world record for hot dogs eaten with 59 during a qualifying round. A showdown of monumental proportions would be occurring July 4th and this time, the Mustard Belt would be coming back to the USA. However, yesterday news broke the Kobayashi’s body had finally broken under the years of punishment competitive eating had dished out. Arthritis in his powerful jaws was so severe he could barely open his mouth. His chances of participating in this year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest seem bleak.
There is no doubt that Joey Chestnut will dominate the field this 4th of July, to the cheers of thousands of Americans in New York, and millions more watching at home around the world. Yet, his victory will be hollow. The man, the myth, the legend that is Kobayashi will loom over the event, his absence minimizing Joey’s great achievement. In order to be the best you need to beat the best. I have no doubt that Joey wants nothing more than to stand before the mighty Kobayashi and crush him at his own game. It is unfortunate that fate has robbed him of his chance.


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